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The Great n00b War
The Great n00b War was the 16th biggest war in history to date. Over 300,000 people, n00bs, Mushroom people, Koopas, and Pokémon, were killed. Events Attack of the clones The n00bs are all alike in many ways. Their grammar sucks (like this doesn't this sond bad), they all have sunglasses (somewhere), and they all have red-orange shirts and blue jeans and their shoes are usually brown, though they are sometimes black. One of these n00bs got mixed up with another n00b. As a result, the wrong n00b was arrested for theft. When the Mushroom Kingdom refused to release the n00b (they had the right to detain any n00b committing a crime on their property, but the n00bs knew the n00b wasn't to blame), the n00bs attacked the Mushroom Naval Base, sparking a war that would last for over three years. Once the war was on, the n00b in question said, quote, "All this for me?" We all scream for ice cream The first weak spot the Mushroom Army targeted was an ice cream factory in southern Failland, an important suburban area for the n00bs. The ice cream supply was greatly diminished, and n00b rations were cut in half, weakening the troops. Air Koopa The Koopas, who as we all know are bitter enemies of the Mushroom Kingdom, joined the n00bs so as to be stronger in fighting it. It was two armies against one—and the Mushroom Kingdom didn't like that. They targeted an important military base, and a massive fighter jet battle ensued. The Koopas were killed in massive numbers and retreated, leaving the Great n00b War. A cheesey battle Soon the n00bs had Cheese Land under siege. Mouse troopers attempted to drive back the blockade, but to no avail. Finally, Cheese Land was forced to surrender, a massive victory for the n00bs. There's no crying in the dugout A Mushroom Kingdom AT-31K fighter jet was patrolling Shroomit Harbor when a full sqadron of twelve AXK-C6 n00b fighters came over the horizon and opened fire on the lone plane. The jet crashed into a baseball stadium which unfortunately was packed. Over 300 people died in the explosion. Will this never end? Finally, both the n00bs and the Mushroom Kingdom troops were tired of fighting. The n00bs sent an ambassador to a meeting room in northern Toad Town to discuss the terms of a truce. Just as the peace treaty was about to be signed, a war-supporting terrorist shot and killed the n00b ambassador, sparking the war, once more. Nothing to fear but Fearow itself On October 16, 1998, the Pokémon Confederacy joined the war. Fed up with destroyers and aircraft carriers rocking their islands' waters (68 Goldeen were killed by a stray missile on the morning of October 12), the Confederacy sent about 450 men and women in XT-7 class-J type-16 fighter planes to asplode n00b aircraft carriers patrolling the largest island. The Pokémon were in the war. You are a member of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor The Pokémon were helping the Mushroom Kingdom, but about 18% of all Pokémon felt that the n00bs were more deserving. They formed the RATHAN (Rebel Alliance To Help All N00bs). The RATHAN gained followers, and by November 13, 1998, 32.4%of the entire Pokémon population were in the RATHAN. The Pokémon government believed these people were traitors, and a smaller war erupted within the Pokémon Islands. Do you like waffles? By 1999, the Mushroom Kingdom devised a strategy. On January 2, 30 large Mushroom Imperial Warships (larger and more deadly versions of aircraft carriers with two submarine deployers) surrounded the small n00b-allied island of Phailure Isle, stopping all shipment of waffles from entering the populated areas of the isle. The island was forced to surrender or die from lack of waffles. It was another victory for the Mushroom Kingdom. PIZZA LASERS! The n00bs were certified pizza-lovers, and as a result had accidentally ordered more pizza than they could eat. They devised a clever plan. They built two massive laser cannons, and saved money by using pizza for fuel instead of Gasoline Minoxical, gasoline and carbon minoxide with soap in the mix—a highly dangerous and very expensive substance. One of them was destroyed by Mushroom Kingdom fighters, but then those were all shot down by ant-aircraft guns. The end Finally, the Mushroom Kingdom had the advantage over the n00bs. (The Pokémon had long since ceased their internal quarrel and withdrawn from the war, calling it a negative effect on everyone.) The Mushroom Kingdom overpowered the n00bs, destroyed their laser cannon, and defeated them. The terms of surrender were generous, and everyone went back to their old life and pretty much forgot that the war ever even happened. Finally, on December 12, 2000, the war was over. Aftermath Revenge of the Koopsith The Koopas attempted to wage war against the Mushroom Kingdom a year after the end of the war, but they were defeated because they were killed in huge numbers before. Trust at last... or not. Tensions are still high between the MK and the n00bs, and they always have alert defenses. Category:Wars